So I prayed that God show me how this problem could be so prevalent!
And He has, He is so faithful.
First, I realized that our boys need NOT go far or even leave their seats to be attacked..not just tempted but openly ATTACKED by lust.
My husband and I went out to eat the other night, this was on my heart and God used it as an opportunity to show me something that I had never seen before. Or, at least not this clearly.
We walked in to the restaurant and put our name in. Immediately I noticed the hostess who was wearing a very short skirt. I checked out of the corner of my eye (he knows I am thinking on this topic) and look to see if Adrian noticed. Nothing. Good job hunny.
We sat down to wait, no kids so we were just sitting and watching people. I noticed this girl moving around, and walk in front of us. In front of my husband. She didnt just walk, she strutted by him. She was swingin' it, almost in a comical way (though I for one was not laughing). She must've walked in front of us 5 times in the 10 minutes we were sitting there. I did a corner of my eye check...still good boy.
We sat down at the table, after following Short Skirt Chic through the restaurant (I held on to Adrian so that in his effort to not look he didnt trip and fall ...he knows I am watching). Then, Short Shorts and Big Boobs with a Tight Shirt Waitress showed up. I looked around. Directly in his line of sight was, Chic With a Short Skirt Who Needs to Close Her Legs and Girl Who Needs to Button Her Shirt Up. Then, Other Hostess with a Short Skirt AND Exposed Cleavage walks by about 10 times.
Funny, but not (as a side note, I asked him later if he noticed all those girls, and admitted that yes he did, but he had made a conscious effort to avert his eyes. ..smart guy :)
Last night I was looking for a photo for my other blog, I typed in "house". I am not kidding you that on the third page in there was a half-naked girl in a school girls outfit staring at me. I typed in "priorities" ...first page, naked woman.
Girls, pornography is a step long the road to fulfilling a desire for lustful feelings and actions, but it starts long before then. They dont even have to go that far to be wounded by Satan's darts. They need not type any words into the search engine, turn on the Playboy channel, buy a magazine or go to a strip bar..its there, plain as day, black and white.
I have had my moments of feeling totally powerless against this fight for my men. I have had my moments when I have thought HOW can they fight it when its EVERYWHERE?
We cant forget, though, ever...that God is greater. He is more powerful. He is all powerful. He is stronger than any "natural" urge or desire ..no matter how strong.
So, what do we do about this?
As I said before, having heard it alot of places lately, that this effects SO many of the men around us. But, because of Satan's lies we dont even know that He is working as effectively was he is. If we could really see, and be aware of all the men (and women..they are out there too) who struggle with this then Satans power would be greatly diminished! If we were suddenly aware of his plans, we would be blown away..then we would react!
Because of the lies that come with this sin, people often either think that men who struggle with this are "perverts" or that lust is just "part of being a man".
We need to, as the mothers, sisters, wives and friends of these Godly men who struggle with this, see this sin as separate from them. We need to not label them as "sex addicts" or other such things. They are vulnerable. Satan has found a weakness, and exploited it. Just like he does with us, everyday.
We need to bring to light this problem. And we need to start in our homes. As difficult as it is, because of the ramifications of the possibility of it being a problem, we must ask our men if it is a problem for them. We need to assume that whether they have moved to the point of action, or have resisted that but still allowed their mind to dwell on lustful things, or that they have resisted both entirely...that they are vulnerable.
We need to teach our baby boys that its not right to look at "girls in their panties." We need to teach them the concept of "guarding their eyes."
Do you know, that speaking honestly with some of my close friends about this that all of them were exposed to pornography at the age of 10-12? And all of them, were exposed through trusted Christian friends? They were exposed, and the rest was history.
We need to teach our boys before they are old enough to even fully understand, that we need to protect our eyes from things that God doesnt want us to look at. So that when they are exposed to this, they know immediately that its wrong. We need to train their hearts, as well as their eyes to resist those things.
We HAVE to talk about it, to our children AND our husbands.
We need to be aware of the battlefield that is all around us!
Girls, we have to realize that Satan WANTS to bind these men. For all our strengths, they are strongest in the areas that God created them to be. They cant be all that they need to be it they are bound by this sin. Our families cannot be what they need to be if our husbands are bound by this, or any sin.
So we have to be aware. We need to know what we are fighting, and our boys need to know that we are in the battle with them. They need to know that we are praying for them, and are aware of their struggles.
A section of scripture that has a whole new meaning for me, is in Ephesians 6.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." v. 11-12
Its true that the battle is theirs. This struggle is between them, and Satan. The boys dont answer to us. Though we, our marriages, our homes are affected by their sins we cannot be their motivation. They answer to God, and God alone. The battle they fight, they fight alone. They must fight when they are alone, out of town, on the computer, watching TV in the dark when we are in bed. Its their battle.
But our role is not insignificant.
" Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert..."
We cannot fight the battle. But we can lay out their clothes ..their belt of truth. We can help them strap their breastplate and hand them their shield. We can make sure their helmet is securely fastened. We can shout encouragement from the sidelines, and shout warnings when the enemy is sneaking up from behind them.
We can fight back to back with them for the minds of our children, working together to train our children to reject Satan's lies regarding lust.
Its not a lost battle. But one we can only win if we are aware that its going on.
I pray for your boys, grown or not. And please pray for mine.
Thanks girls, I needed to get that off my chest :)